Tom & Icy Eat Out

This is terrible! Just terrible! Look at them! How could they do that? There is Tom & Icy rummaging through a dumpster and they didn't even take me along to get a snack, too! See how bad I am treated. They go out for dinner and leave me at home! I hope those cops take them in and throw the book at them!

Beauty & Beast

The true unsung hero behind Pansi's success is the Cave Troll. We hear very little about the big guy! But he has promised to carry Pansi to new heights. Besides, he doesn't have anything else to do.

Pansi's Assets

While at the mall, Pansi shows the Paparazzi her assets.

Pansi At The Mall

The Paparazzi still follows Pansi like bees around honey even though there are rumors that her show may be cancelled. Here she tried to walk through the mall and was swarmed by reporters, but her fans were conspicuously missing.

Revival Service For Pansi

The staff of NG4J held a revival prayer service for Pansi in hopes of the resurrection of her fame and popularity of the show.

Pansi Sinks To All Time Low

Pansi has hit an all time low in her career as her fame and popularity diminish. We did our Paparazzi best getting this photo of Pansi and her Cave Troll in a drunken stupor outside of Ugly Grace's. She has fallen just like her status and lies in the dirt and mire of skid row. After this, we are beginning to think that a "come-back" would be impossible!

Aubvey's Tarot Card

This card signifies achieving an auspicious providence through stability amidst movement and provocation by use of strategy combined with the enthusiastic support of devotees for the cause guided by the Cheerleader.

Should Movies Be Censured?

There's a movie going around that has a fake scene in it where the U.S. President gets the cramps and diarrhea and has to be rushed to a toilet. Personally, we feel these kinds of movies shouldn't be made or at least, people shouldn't go see them. But the movie-going public seem to flock to flicks with shitty scenes like that. We suspect that Mr. Banana had something to do with the production with a plot involving the President eating some of Daisy's hot dogs.

Pansi Seeks Publicity

Pansi has been making appearances on cable news shows trying to promote her pseudo-religious program and social movements. It was reported that this was the lowest rating the show has ever had, which resulted with the firing of Mr. Banana as an associate producer with the network. The host complained that in all the decades of his career on radio and tv, he has never interviewed anyone as unintelligible as Pansi.

Pansi's Interview

When Pansi was at the height of her career, before she began her fall, I had this interview with her:

Watch it here

Pansi Demoted To Has-Been

The once popular almost superstar, Pansi, is celebrating her seventeenth birthday again, but this time as a "Has-Been" superstar.

Many conspiracy theories have been surfacing considering her sudden change in status. It appears her spotlight of fame is dimming as she falls into the shadows of the competing talents of the more talented performers on the Stuffed Animal Planet.

One theory is that it was feared that Stuffed Animal Planet may be reclassified like Pluto and become a "Dwarf Planet" if Pansi continued to be the vanguard for the entertainment complex.

Another theory is that Mr. Banana, the executive producer, wants to move on to the "Next Level" and give all his other talented subjects and sundry projects equal opportunity to expand and grow.

Many feel that Pansi is highly over-rated and was mistakenly pushed to the forefront and promoted with hype.

Yet another theory attributes her illicit cyber affair with Doug of Waking Ambrose as casting doubts on her sincerity and veracity as a moral leader in the fantasy community.

It has been noted that Pansi has been pushed into the background in the past several months due to the more talented personalities that have become available and the more diverse enterprises of Mr. Banana which Pansi could not successfully compete with.

Many thought Pansi as foolish, but when she opened her mouth, she removed all doubts.

It is time for Pansi to gracefully step aside and allow the true talent of the Stuffed Animal Planet to shine as she quickly dims into oblivion.

Yet there is another theory about the situation. Some believe that this is only a ploy for publicity so that Pansi can suddenly emerge bigger than ever in a spectacular "Come Back"!

Flowering Kudzu Fed To Sharks

The poor girl just can't keep her life together. She is always going to pieces. Flowering Kudzu tried to disrupt Toyplayer's Pirate Play to protest that there wasn't any women in it. That was the wrong place to protest and with the wrong kind of people! The pirates merely tossed her overboard with the sharks.

Venus Helps Play Production

Venus uses her magic glowing eye to produce the illusion of the sea for the background as Toyplayer directs the actors during a dress rehearsal of his play he is presenting on the Pansi Files.

Pirate Play Premiers

Finaly Toyplayer's pirate play has come to the Pansi Files!

32 Additional Years For Bush

On Pansi's show, The Naked Gymnastics For Jesus, she had the Bush Clones created by the Blochalela Foundation as guests. She explained that with the clones, he could have up to 32 additional years as President of the U.S. Even though he is against cloning, he claims he can make an exception in this case by declaring the situation a National Security Emergency.

Pansi Files Going On Vacation

We are wishing Mrs. Weirsdo and the gang and kids a safe and fun vacation, and we'll miss you! Keep cool!

Joon's Tarot Card

This card signifies the agility of youth and the ability to juggle both mentally and physically, able to handle two or more tasks and concentrate on two or more situations simultaneously.

Child of the Doo-Doo's, she was eaten by her pet hampster.

Pirate Passion

The pirate William Roberts of the Pansi Files shows hopping, chopping raw emotions on a TV talk show.

Peg-Leg John,

That is Peg-Leg John on the left of our picture but he was said to be on "the far right" in the post on the Pansi Files. This seems to indicate that he is endorsed by the U.S. President Bush as a Conservative Curmudgeon Candidate. It has been leaked (by Lammy) that he might be the replacement for Rummy as Secretary of Defense. It was also stated on the Pansi Files that he is a pirate pilot. Come on now! Since when do pirates have airplanes?

The Errors of Our Ways

I don't take any offense (even though I sounded defensive) if you mean the word "offend" as "causing displeasure or resentment in another." And you did not offend like breaking a law or rule. But, come to think of it, there does seem to be some ridiculous rule of etiquette that implies we should be super tolerant of other bloggers' mistakes and lack of preparation for presentation or self-editing; but that seems phony when I see that. The use of grammar, spelling and choice of words, as well as rhetorical techniques are as important when posting a blog or comment as personal hygiene and choice of clothes when encountering others in person. The fun of using fictional characters is that we can apply improprieties in the form of irony or something like that.

The errors in the previous post was not part of the character of Dusty Doggy as a hack, but a mistake due to the lack of simple reading and checking for accuracy prior to publishing. We don't need to wear a tux or evening gown to visit our next door neighbor, but it is courteous be clean and to call them by their proper name (unless joking with them).

The idea behind Lammy's blog is that she has a nice looking blog but writes like an uneducated person speaking in person from the top of their mind. And Dusty Doggy is a parody of a hack writer who doesn't really know the facts or understand what he is talking about. But the error of calling Henry "Harry" is just carelessness and lack of simple checking before publishing because there is no legitimate reason for doing that in the name of satire, parody or the like.

I have often wondered why Isaac Asimov, one of the most prolific writers of all time, didn't make many more mistakes and errors than he did. Perhaps he could self-edit at the same time he was writing. I once had a word processor that had a spell check which would alert me when I made a mistake while I was writing, but that was annoying and would break concentration of what I was writing or the train of thought. Now most word processors wait until you have finished your text and you activate the spell check before they begin to detect errors. Being able to edit our work while we are writing is multi-tasking or concentrating and focusing on two different things at the same time like Joon would do (may she rest in peace). That is sort of like God being omnipresent in the sense he is supposed to be able to listen to billions of individual thoughts and prayers all simultaneously. Now that would be mega multi tasking!

Oh, it seems I just felt like rambling around today. Let me know how wrong I am. Thanks.

Harry Hook on Daily Show

The pirate, Harry Hook of the Pansi Files, gets his hooked hand stuck in Jon Stewart's nose while telling an exciting tale of his adventures.

Brown Beard Is One Hot Pirate

Brown Beard may be a couch potato, but he is also a really hot pirate from the Pansi Files!

One-Eyed Sam's TV Debut

The pirates of the Pansi Files are making the talk show circuit this week!

Grey Patch on TV

Grey Patch was seen on a TV talk show promoting his pirate campaign. The election is shown on the Pansi Files.

Pendant Ken & Pendant Ken?

There has been a lot of controversy surrounding the behavior of Pendant Ken since he has left the Blochalela Foundation of the Pansi Files. He was seen with Wolfie of the Death Cheese, then with Pansi. The question arose concerning his sexual orientation.

The truth came out on a talk TV show when Pendant Ken made an appearance with Pendant Ken! Yes, himself! So the questions change right as we thought we had the answers: Is there more cloning going on at the Blochalela Foundation?

And if so, even more questions arise. If someone is cloned, could one clone be gay and the other straight?

Pansi & Pendant Ken Seen At Disco

This unlikely pair was spotted at Dirty Dan's Disco Saturday night. Pendant Ken sure has been acting strange since his stay at the Blochalela Foundation of the Pansi Files.

Good News!

We have always heard that "No news is good news" and so we are happy to report that there is a lot of good news!

Wolfie & Pendant Ken Seen At Fu King Restaurant

Pendant Ken of the Pansi Files was seen at the debauched Fu King Chinese Restaurant with Wolfie of the Death Cheese Band. The question still remains as to why Alvin Chipmonkk was there. It appears like a love triangle!

Pendant Ken Recovers

It appears that the butcher staff at the Blochalela Foundation of the Pansi Files has finally figured out how to put Pendant Ken back together after that long tormenting ordeal with all the experimenting. We would advise Lammy to stay away from that place if she knows what is good for her!

Holy Entertainment

After church services, in the privacy of her home, Pansi is entertained by the Rev. Jimmy Reptile doing the Funky Jesus Dance. I just love this job getting to peek in other people's windows!

Show The Glory

Rev. Jimmy Reptile and Pansi do flips in the Naked Gymnastics for Jesus Church.

Romantic Rumors

Is it romance or something else? We got this photo of Soggy of the Death Cheese Band and Sam the Purple Jam of the Pansi Files crawling out of Ugly Grace's Bar and Chill yesterday.

April, Vanguard for Nature

Here is April's Tarot card. She is the vanguard for movements to protect and preserve nature and the bell wether for Naturalists everywhere. She is the curator of a Nature Library and Museum and manages a Nature Camp Area as well as being an assistant teacher of Biology at Very Red University in spite of Minnie Strator's objections.

Brown Bear Brownie Restores Partial Memory of Dog Face Girl

In our continuing investigation of the strange Blochalela Foundation Institute Place of the Pansi Files, we have already discovered that several ghosts or spirits such as that of Ayn Rand and Sigmund Freud have been seen there. The specter of the good doctor seems to have taken on a affable association with Brown Bear Brownie, the resident hypnotist for the Foundation.

The Brown Bear was assigned to a session with the Dog Face Girl in an attempt to restore her memory which was lost after a high dive into a low well. When the good doctor's specter mentioned that Dog Face Girl was in denial, Brown Bear Brownie could only think about his love for Emrald and the fun sessions he had with her when they regressed to her past life in Egypt along the Nile. Thus he sent Dog Face Girl back there.

The shock brought the Dog Face Girl partially back to reality. She could only recall her marriage to the Alien Guy and ran back to him, leaving the Foundation behind before Brown Bear Brownie could complete the session to restore her whole memory. The Alien Guy was thrilled to have the Dog Face Girl back and he became un-gay and broke up with Wolfie of the Death Cheese Band.

Dr. Doo Doo's Tarot Card

When Jove sent blessings to all men that are,
 And Mercury conveyed them in a jar,
 That friend of tricksters introduced by stealth
 Disease for the apothecary's health,
 Whose gratitude impelled him to proclaim:
 "My deadliest drug shall bear my patron's name!"
                                             G.J.

Pansi Takes a Powder

Pansi and a friend took a walk down the path in back of the new Petesville Church to the powder room and was hailed by Rev. Jimmy Reptile to wait for him.

Rev. Reptile At Petesville Church

The Reverend Jimmy Reptile reveals the bare facts about the Psalms of David as Pansi flaunts her holy bedizenment at a Petesville Church Service.

Is Joon "Ghost In The Machine"?

Since Dr. and Mrs. Doo Doo of the Pansi Files lost their child by having it eaten by her pet hamster, her spirit has been haunting the good doctor's computer, which Joon spent hours playing games on. Was she so engrossed with computers that when she was separated from her body, her spirit entered the home network?

Shocker At DC Concert

Yes, it was a knock out shocker at the Death Cheese concert when Fish Lips Smelte made a surprising marriage proposal to the Dog Face Girl. Or was it just the smell that knocked her out. Reports are that she may respond on her audio blog in a day or two after she has had time to recover from the shock.

Retraction

That wasn't Mrs. Weirsdo in the previous article

Alvin and Weirsdo?

We got this picture of Cheesemeister's boss, Alvin, and Mrs. Weirsdo of the Pansi Files coming out of a Chinese restaurant.

Blochalela's Tarot Card

Some consider the meaning to be "crying over spilt milk" as she has her back to the full cups and is concerned with the ones turned over. Yet many see this as Sainthood in that she realizes the well can care for themselves and the infirm and languid are in need of her help. Her Foundation is in the background by the bridge that crosses the troubled waters.

Blochalela is a character of the Pansi Files.

Hot Dog Church Sale

Daisy and the Cave Troll opened a hot dog stand in the church of the Pansi Files saying that they were going to raise a lot of money for the rebuilding fund, but they ate all the hot dogs before they could sell a single one!

Pansi's Holy of Holies

In a religious ceremony at Petesville Church of the Pansi Files, Pansi has adorned her Base Chaukra. This is considered a Holy sacrament of the Holy Hole. During the Church service, there was quite a bit of sounds resembling flatulence and foul odors emitting from the altar area, but Brittney insisted it was just Pansi "Speaking in Tongues" through her newly enlightened base chaukra. She compared it metaphorically to the purring of Venus, the Feline Deity.

April Assists Beelzebub Teach Biology

April of the Pansi Files has been assisting Beelzebub in the classroom as he attempts to explain to the class about Soggy of the Death Cheese. It is unclear who the other assistant is on the right of the picture. Maybe Tinkerbell? April invited the Cheesemeister and Soggy to visit her Nature Retreat but Pansi vehemently protested saying that the Death Cheese would probably tag along with them.

Flick Production Halted

Miss Minnie Strator, the Administrator of something at the college where the filming of "Plan 9 From The NetherWorld" had begun it's first day of filming on the campus, has stopped the project in its tracks. You know what? She looks a lot like someone else, but I just can't think of whom it is. What happened was that Minnie Strator saw that first shot in the movie where Holle, the grandniece of Wolfie of the Death Cheese, walked into the shot and flashed. The Administrator of something cried out "Filth!" That sure does sound like someone else, and I wish I could figure who? (I just hate that word "whom" because it sounds so goofy, Besides, I am the editor-in-chief of this rag and can write any way I want! First Amendment!) Anyway, there will be no more filming until there is a complete investigation.

Minnie Strator is a character of the Pansi Files.
Holle, Wolfie and Death Cheese are creations of the Cheesemeister.
That woman I can't think of is a creation of AP3.

Cheesemeister Chosen As Director

The Cheesemeister has been chosen to direct the movie "Plan 9 From The NetherWorld" under the spiritual auspices of Director Ed Wood. It is rumored that she may co-write the screenplay. The flick is Produced by Mr. Banana of the Pansi Files and filmed at White Dog Studios. The project will be supervised by Minnie Strator. Death Cheese will produce the musical soundtrack.

The photo above is a preliminary meeting with the contengent cast. On the far right is the director, Cheesemeister next to Entail and Lammy. Wolfie's grandniece, Holle, hugs Lammy's leg passionately. Behind Holle is the Dog Face Girl standing next to Diamonelle. In front of them is Flowering Kudzu. In the background is Lyanne Sakks of the Crappy Times who may have more details concerning the project. And that is Icy, the white dog, pooping in the background. It is also rumored that Diamonelle will be the first character killed off in the flick.

Shooting is scheduled to begin next month, but may start as early as this week since these cheapy flicks are thrown together on a shoestring and Ed Wood is spiritually advising the production.

New Church For Petesville

Venus the Holy Cat sits on the altar with Julia, flanked by Brittney in black and Pansi in pink as they dedicate their new church since the original was destroyed by Axe of the Death Cheese on the Devil's Day, June 6.

Blackbear Hobbes Tortured

BlackBear Hobbes is being held captive by the unCaptist forces being led by Sam P. Jam and Angelon described in this post of Pansi Files. We finally got an un-named source to provide us with this exclusive photo of his torture which continues until the RedBear Julia, caves in to their demands.

Angelon Injured Working As Harry's Stunt Double

Angelon and Lammy were not really dating, as most suspected. They were just business partners, working together to obtain a job as stunt body doubles for Harry and Hermione on the set of their new movie. That means that whenever something dangerous had to be filmed, it was Angelon and Lammy posing as the original stars so that the stars would not get hurt because if they got hurt then they couldn't finish the movie and ... oh, you know all that!

So here's the scoop! Angelon and Lammy had to get on the brooms and fly around while they shot a scene for the movie. But Angelon made a sudden stop and the broom Lammy was riding wreck 'em and went up Angelon's rectum. The hospital lists him in fair but uncomfortable condition. We tried to ask his wife, Daisy about his condition but we couldn't understand a word she said because she kept stuffing her mouth with hot dogs! She seemed to be mumbling something about having a mystical meaning but we sure can't figure it out if she does.

Dr. Doo-Doo Man is the physician caring for Angelon but he could not be reached for comment due to an abundance of accidents on the set of Naked Gymnastics for Jesus TV Show. There is a Daisy #2 who is rumored to be the clone of Daisy #1, but #2 just walks around in a daze asking, "Where's the robot? Where's the robot?"

Chaos At Brittney's Church

For details, visit Pansi Files.

Mr. Banana's Big Mistake

It appears that Mr. Banana does make production mistakes now and then, and we found one of them! He tried to put out a tape of Pansi with a little part of P. Doggy Doug with her, but it seems that people just don't buy 8-tracks anymore. And the recording was less than acceptable quality. But we thought you might like to hear it, once anyway.

Click here or on the picture to hear the tape.