Thursday, June 29, 2006

Rev. Reptile At Petesville Church

The Reverend Jimmy Reptile reveals the bare facts about the Psalms of David as Pansi flaunts her holy bedizenment at a Petesville Church Service.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Is Joon "Ghost In The Machine"?

Since Dr. and Mrs. Doo Doo of the Pansi Files lost their child by having it eaten by her pet hamster, her spirit has been haunting the good doctor's computer, which Joon spent hours playing games on. Was she so engrossed with computers that when she was separated from her body, her spirit entered the home network?

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Shocker At DC Concert

Yes, it was a knock out shocker at the Death Cheese concert when Fish Lips Smelte made a surprising marriage proposal to the Dog Face Girl. Or was it just the smell that knocked her out. Reports are that she may respond on her audio blog in a day or two after she has had time to recover from the shock.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


That wasn't Mrs. Weirsdo in the previous article

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Alvin and Weirsdo?

We got this picture of Cheesemeister's boss, Alvin, and Mrs. Weirsdo of the Pansi Files coming out of a Chinese restaurant.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Blochalela's Tarot Card

Some consider the meaning to be "crying over spilt milk" as she has her back to the full cups and is concerned with the ones turned over. Yet many see this as Sainthood in that she realizes the well can care for themselves and the infirm and languid are in need of her help. Her Foundation is in the background by the bridge that crosses the troubled waters.

Blochalela is a character of the Pansi Files.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Hot Dog Church Sale

Daisy and the Cave Troll opened a hot dog stand in the church of the Pansi Files saying that they were going to raise a lot of money for the rebuilding fund, but they ate all the hot dogs before they could sell a single one!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Pansi's Holy of Holies

In a religious ceremony at Petesville Church of the Pansi Files, Pansi has adorned her Base Chaukra. This is considered a Holy sacrament of the Holy Hole. During the Church service, there was quite a bit of sounds resembling flatulence and foul odors emitting from the altar area, but Brittney insisted it was just Pansi "Speaking in Tongues" through her newly enlightened base chaukra. She compared it metaphorically to the purring of Venus, the Feline Deity.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

April Assists Beelzebub Teach Biology

April of the Pansi Files has been assisting Beelzebub in the classroom as he attempts to explain to the class about Soggy of the Death Cheese. It is unclear who the other assistant is on the right of the picture. Maybe Tinkerbell? April invited the Cheesemeister and Soggy to visit her Nature Retreat but Pansi vehemently protested saying that the Death Cheese would probably tag along with them.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Flick Production Halted

Miss Minnie Strator, the Administrator of something at the college where the filming of "Plan 9 From The NetherWorld" had begun it's first day of filming on the campus, has stopped the project in its tracks. You know what? She looks a lot like someone else, but I just can't think of whom it is. What happened was that Minnie Strator saw that first shot in the movie where Holle, the grandniece of Wolfie of the Death Cheese, walked into the shot and flashed. The Administrator of something cried out "Filth!" That sure does sound like someone else, and I wish I could figure who? (I just hate that word "whom" because it sounds so goofy, Besides, I am the editor-in-chief of this rag and can write any way I want! First Amendment!) Anyway, there will be no more filming until there is a complete investigation.

Minnie Strator is a character of the Pansi Files.
Holle, Wolfie and Death Cheese are creations of the Cheesemeister.
That woman I can't think of is a creation of AP3.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Cheesemeister Chosen As Director

The Cheesemeister has been chosen to direct the movie "Plan 9 From The NetherWorld" under the spiritual auspices of Director Ed Wood. It is rumored that she may co-write the screenplay. The flick is Produced by Mr. Banana of the Pansi Files and filmed at White Dog Studios. The project will be supervised by Minnie Strator. Death Cheese will produce the musical soundtrack.

The photo above is a preliminary meeting with the contengent cast. On the far right is the director, Cheesemeister next to Entail and Lammy. Wolfie's grandniece, Holle, hugs Lammy's leg passionately. Behind Holle is the Dog Face Girl standing next to Diamonelle. In front of them is Flowering Kudzu. In the background is Lyanne Sakks of the Crappy Times who may have more details concerning the project. And that is Icy, the white dog, pooping in the background. It is also rumored that Diamonelle will be the first character killed off in the flick.

Shooting is scheduled to begin next month, but may start as early as this week since these cheapy flicks are thrown together on a shoestring and Ed Wood is spiritually advising the production.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

New Church For Petesville

Venus the Holy Cat sits on the altar with Julia, flanked by Brittney in black and Pansi in pink as they dedicate their new church since the original was destroyed by Axe of the Death Cheese on the Devil's Day, June 6.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Blackbear Hobbes Tortured

BlackBear Hobbes is being held captive by the unCaptist forces being led by Sam P. Jam and Angelon described in this post of Pansi Files. We finally got an un-named source to provide us with this exclusive photo of his torture which continues until the RedBear Julia, caves in to their demands.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Angelon Injured Working As Harry's Stunt Double

Angelon and Lammy were not really dating, as most suspected. They were just business partners, working together to obtain a job as stunt body doubles for Harry and Hermione on the set of their new movie. That means that whenever something dangerous had to be filmed, it was Angelon and Lammy posing as the original stars so that the stars would not get hurt because if they got hurt then they couldn't finish the movie and ... oh, you know all that!

So here's the scoop! Angelon and Lammy had to get on the brooms and fly around while they shot a scene for the movie. But Angelon made a sudden stop and the broom Lammy was riding wreck 'em and went up Angelon's rectum. The hospital lists him in fair but uncomfortable condition. We tried to ask his wife, Daisy about his condition but we couldn't understand a word she said because she kept stuffing her mouth with hot dogs! She seemed to be mumbling something about having a mystical meaning but we sure can't figure it out if she does.

Dr. Doo-Doo Man is the physician caring for Angelon but he could not be reached for comment due to an abundance of accidents on the set of Naked Gymnastics for Jesus TV Show. There is a Daisy #2 who is rumored to be the clone of Daisy #1, but #2 just walks around in a daze asking, "Where's the robot? Where's the robot?"

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Mr. Banana's Big Mistake

It appears that Mr. Banana does make production mistakes now and then, and we found one of them! He tried to put out a tape of Pansi with a little part of P. Doggy Doug with her, but it seems that people just don't buy 8-tracks anymore. And the recording was less than acceptable quality. But we thought you might like to hear it, once anyway.

Click here or on the picture to hear the tape.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Alvin Shot!

Dog Face Girl has told us that Alvin Chipmonkk, Cheesmeister's boss, has been shot, but he is okay because he has such a thick head. He was just dazed, she told us. He was reportedly at Ugly Grace's during kereoke night and he insisted on singing a Pink Floyd song when someone from the audiance rose and shot him because they thought he was so bad. To hear the tape of the incident, go to Dog Face Girl's Blog.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Lammy and Angelon Seen Together

Will the scandals never end? We hope not. The latest is that Angelon of the Pansi Files was seen out cavorting with Lammy at Ugly Grace's during the performance of the Death Cheese. We thought Angelon had married Daisy and Lammy was going with Axe Man from the Band. Looks like things are really going to be hot this summer! Some people actually thought it was Harry and Hermione. They do look like a similar couple.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Dog Face Girl Speaks Out About Wolfie

On her newborn Audio Blog, The Dog Face Girl uncovered that Wolfie espouses the potency of practice. She exposed that even though we may have conceptions of the werewolf as savage and carnal, he is, in fact, a very hardened member of the Death Cheese Band penetrating deeply into the philosophy that practice makes perfect. Exploding the myths he made her come to the climax that practicing quite rigorously and vigorously is foreplay to heightening professional performance as well as personal intercourse in daily life. Listen to her Audio Blog!

Alien Guy Seen With Endtail

This news just in to our desk! It has been reported that Endtail, the former lover of Wolfie, and the Alien Guy, former husband of Dog Face Girl, have been seen together. And it has been said they were acting extremely intimate. We will have to wait until tomorrow to hear what Dog Face Girl has to say about it on her Blog. And the Cheesemeister will have to give us a report on Wolfie's reaction to the affair. Will this lead to problems with Dog Face and Wolfie?