Mall Diva's Art

Icy and Dusty inspect Mall Diva's artwork.

Doo Doo Man Rejected As A Role Model By Kids

In the latest poll of adolescents, Dr. Doo Doo Man was rejected as a role model. Dr. Phil beat him out by a fraction of a percentage point. Dr. Doo Doo couldn't be reached for comment this morning due to a business trip to Afghanistan.

Dusty couldn't understand what Dr. Phil was talking about when he contacted him. "Dr. Phill talks too fast!" Dusty explained,. "Dr. Phil probably won because he reminds kids of their parents because they can't figure out what he is talking about."

Investigation of B. F. Continues

Dusty's investigative reporting continues as he probes the radical (and we do mean rad!) treatments that border on torture at the Blochalela Foundation. Dusty took this photo of his daughter, Icy, as Blochalela makes her sky dive when she went there for treatment of fear of height and vertigo that she suffers when humans pick her up to pet her. The really sad part is that they didn't provide parachutes!

Blochalela is a character of The Pansi Files

Daisy Shops For Bargain Hot Dogs

Dusty saw Daisy and Sissy with Daisy's dogs at the mall on Black Friday. It seems that Daisy headed straight for the hot dog stand and ran her credit card to the limit!

Daisy and Sissy are characters of The Pansi Files.

Original photo taken by Mall Diva

Coach Ejects Doll From Game

During the Iron Bowl, Tommy Tuberville carries a doll from the field which the players complained was "running around getting in the way."

Sissy Is A "Kept" Woman

Dusty got this great shot of Sissy scrubbing the floors for Mr. Banana to earn her keep and fulfill her obligations and duty to him as his "kept" woman in accordance with the customs of his heritage. Naturally Sissy claims this voluntary servitude is an act of "love" for Mr. Banana, but Dusty snooped out the facts that she has agreed to this contractual slavery and prostitution in exchange for her being allowed to perform occasionally with the real Naked Gymnastics for Jesus cast on their show on the Stuffed Animal Channel (check with your local cable or satellite provider for specific time and availability).

Visit The Pansi Files for more details and to hear her audio bio.

Diamonelle Recording Rejected

The rap recording made by Diamonelle and her brother was rejected today by the producers in the Recording Studio. They claimed it did not satisfy the Rap Code for Publication, citing the lack of offensive language. They insisted that she return to the studio with at least 40 offensive curse words salt and peppered into the lyrics. A producer was heard to say that the "F-word" must be in there at least five time as a minimum.

Daisy vs. Pansi

Pansi looks on in disgust as Daisy shows off her love for hot dogs on the Jerry Springer Show as a promotion for her AUDIOBIOGRAPHY

Daisy Promotes Voiced Biography

Daisy has been trying very hard to get someone to listen to her babbling Audio Autobiography on the Pansi Files. She has made dozens of public appearances similar to this one on a talk show where the host looks on in total disgust after hearing a sound byte of it. The host was later heard to say "It stinks!"

Dr. Doo Doo Abducted

Dr. Doo Doo was abducted from the Blochalela Foundation by one of his patients who recently had a plastic surgery makeover. The suspect is patient known as "Dog Face Girl" who was recently shot in the face by an unknown assailant. She was pregnant at the time, but the baby was saved by cc, but it's condition and all information about it are being held in strick secrecy. Reports released by Blochalela state that the injections administered by the good doctor as well as the fact they made her a natural red head in the makeover, created uncontrollable passion in her. It was said by an anonymous source that she tied Dr. Doo Doo by strings and forced him to sing "Bye Bye Bye" over and over to her. It was also reported that she has started a new blog of her own and has been seductively approaching other male bloggers. Dr. Doo Doo was eventually released, but reportedly stated that he would never listen to pop music again. The whereabouts of the Dog Face Girl is unknown.

NOTE: Dr. Doo Doo and the Blochalela Foundation are creations of Mrs. Weirsdo for the Pansi Files.
We especially wish to extend our gratitude and thanks to Lula for her contributions to this article by emailing us this photo. She is really a good sport. She was bitten by a dog as a child and is trying to overcome her fear and disgust of them.

Daisy Arrested

Daisy, one of the stars of "Naked Gymnastics For Jesus" show was arrested today and charged with counterfeiting. She was wearing a beautiful outfit styled and designed by Mall Diva. The outfit was made out of money. It was "funny money" the arresting officer declared. Dusty got this photo as she waved good-by before entering her cell to serve her sentence. Mall Diva was not charged in the case because of the lack of evidence. Daisy seemed pleased with the cell, saying it was a lot nicer than either her dressing room at the studio or her apartment. Her "loyer" claimed it was a trumped charge held in a kangaroo court. The judge was not available for comment because they said he was drunk and passed out.

Daisy is a character created by Mrs. Weirsdo for The Pansi Files.

The Limo

Even though it was raining pretty hard, Dusty grabbed his camera and got a great shot of Pansi and Daisy in their "limo" as they call it.

Hotdogs In Bed

Daisy is such a glutton for hotdogs that she takes them to bed with her, as seen in this candid photo by Dusty.

Hot Dog Junky

Dusty also stopped by Daisy's apartment and took this picture of her and the disgusting cave troll gobbling down hotdogs.

It was obvious that Daisy co-inhabits the nasty cave-like dwelling with the uncouth security person (or thing) .

Further investigation revealed that Daisy is addicted to eating the unwholesome meat and spends all her salary and personal income on the "dirt-cheap" ground scraps called hotdogs.

She purchases the cheapest in order to have more of them.


NOTE: Daisy and the Cave Troll are characters of the Pansi Files.

Visit To Dog Face Girl

Dusty visited Dog Face Girl at the Blochalela Foundation, where she is being cared for during her pregnancy by Dr. Doo Doo. When asked if she felt she was getting good care, Dog Face Girl replied, "I feel goody goody goody!"

When asked if she wanted to leave, she said, "I feel goody goody goody!" And then she was asked if she was being held against her will and she answered, "I feel goody goody goody!"

Dusty noticed that although the lobby appeared to be very opulent, her room was rather scroungy in appearance and actually stunk with obnoxious and nauseating odors! When asked if she was satisfied with her accommodations, she stated, "I feel goody goody goody!"


NOTE: Dr. Doo Doo and the Blochalela Foundation are creations of Mrs. Weirsdo in the Pansi Files. Dog Face Girl is the wife of the Alien Guy.

Dusty's Thinking

Dusty's mind is spastic and muddled, to say the least At the time he asked the question about The Pansi Files, he was comparing the Naked Gymnastics For Jesus with Sailor Moon, pictured above. You can Google Sailor Moon for links. They both have an all girl cast except for one guy.

Anyway, at the time, Dusty had downloaded an mp3 of Vanessa Mae's Sailor Moon Violin Medley. He then thought about Mrs. Weirsdo playing the violin and wondered if that had anything to do with her creativity or the creation of the Pansi Files.

The Real Gen. Grevious Photo

Dusty got the real story behind the photo of General Grevious we recently saw in the Pansi Files! Actually, Dr. Doo Doo made him leap into the air because he poked him with the electric corn cob that has a sharp point on it.

Saruman and Dusty

Dusty made a desperate attempt to interview Saruman, a Captist leader, to find out what was coming up in the Pansi Files, but Saruman would not reveal anything.

Doo Doo Girl's Truck

Doo-doo girl waves at Dusty as she passes in her new truck. But we live on a ONE WAY street and she was going the WRONG direction! She is always mixed up -- the Courtney Love of the Pansi Files. But Dr. Doo Doo got wise and bought her this new truck so that the cops wouldn't notice.

The Real Limo

Dusty got tired of Daisy complaining about him messing up her so-called "limo" so he took his paw-spy cam and got a picture of it. Here is Daisy, Abvey, Brittney, Pansi and Mrs. Weirsdo of the Pansi Files standing in front of their transportation.